![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Ly ... and after Tidoo (english)
current mood: sad
(for milisante I hope with that you understand better me and my bad reaction yesterday)
I will try to do simple.
i don't know if I say what's friendship for me and taht I don't trust Human (without my boyfriend of course). I make walls between me and other and I never say many things of me. the life teaches me that: when we say more on we, we finish to regret it. well, nobody has my "friendship" (or my love) unless to have time and force to lost...
There are 4 years i met on FF.net a girl, Ly. She is a kind and gentle girl, a Canadian. With her I had a common passion: LOTR and fic. At the beginning we talk about her fics, after mienes too and with the time we talk about everything. we had many common point and we shaerd e-mail all the 2 days. i saw her like a sister, a (best) friend. And it was teh frist time. i knew that when i was bad or mad she was here, taht she listen me and she helped me. I same propsoed to be my temoin at my weeding.
the time passed and the e-mails began rarest: i was in stage, not at my home and she worked. we succed tos hare e-mail sicne 2 years. After i moved on with my boyfriend and I didn't have Internet. before taht i said at her and otehr contact that i wouldn't have Internet for few months. i lost many Internet friend and I lost Ly.i know it was stupid to like someone on Internet like that. But the fact she nerver answered at my e-mails hurts me badly. very hurting at this point taht 2 years after that i cry when I think about her. After taht I really make a wall betweens me and other... (except with cindy who when I explained her say me: I like you, i will be patient and i'll success and greg who always searches how he did.)
Tidoo, I met her in teh same cirsconstum tahn Ly (on FF.net) and i can't say me taht I don't compare them. for me, tidoo will finsih by reject me like Ly. In result, i arrive to put distance between us.
The problem is taht after a "joke" of me and her answera t my e-amil i see she imagines (Tidoo) taht I was admiritive of her, that I venarate her... because I don't like faulse thing i wanted expalin mewith her. But to expalin i must tell about Ly and sincerely i never talk about her since a long time. .. i was bad, mad, sad and hurting. after 2 years, I always like Ly and it's hurting me again...
It's for that eysterday i was so sad and bad, it's for taht I was hurting... i sufer.... I want cry ...
I do not think your reaction is bad or else. People are people! To feel bad and say it aloud is normal. But I'm very thankful for your explanation!
===
I don't really think there's something wrong with you. In fact I always tell people true facts about myself, but I know they can't hurt me. Because they know the only one part of me. The other part is hidden. So, you may say that I make walls as well. It's just that it's me. I was hurt in reality by someone I still believe I loved.
I'm telling you this because I think you'll feel better if you know you're not the one.
Honestly I also have friends that are far. Probably, we will never meet even. But there were times they we helped each other.
Sometimes I know that 'friendship' or what I call 'webfriendship' is gone, but it doesn't hurt me, since I know I helped them and I hope their life will be better. Time changes and goes.
In your case, I don't really know how to help you. But I understand that it must be hurtful. I can't explain that LY girl actions. May be she's busy, or something happend to her... I don't know.
But to cry about what was good (your friendship) is not bad. It shows that you are very emotional person. I think it's not wrong anyway.
About the other girl. Hmmm... it happens, misundesrtanding. But I think that if she's a good friend, if she really understand you, then you can talk to her and tell her everything. And may be you don't need to tell her all.
May be you need time to think, to clear your thoughts.
I don't know, I can't explain myself properly.
But, please, don't feel bad! Everything will be fine! I'm sure. I know it's banal to say, but now I know it helps. Really.
*huh... i'm not understandable*
Don't be disappointed in people! *huh*
And, please, don't think bad of me.
---
Hmmm.. I don't know what to do to cheer you up! Sorry...